Late Night With Dre

There are nights like these where I have to remind myself . . . only a couple more months left. That is the only thing getting me through this . . .
I have been fortunate enough to work in the ER for my last clinical rotation. I have experienced more in the last 3 weeks than in one semester during these shifts and I can't tell you enough how much I've grown.
There is one small shortcoming . . . my shifts are weekend nights. My Friday and Saturday night are spent in the ER. I leave my home at 6pm and get home at 8am. I thought I was brilliant when I decided to come home earlier on sunday mornings, instead of a full shift, so I would still be able to be a student and get some studying done during the day. But oh, that has failed me!!! Do you know why??? Because, I lie awake at 2am trying to fall asleep for class Monday morning!! What a pain in my gluteus maximus!! I swear, this is the most frustrating part of my weekend . . . ha! What weekend??
My mind is running a mile a minute.

Heart vs Head

What do you use to lead to you . . . or to help you make decisions? I think it is scary to not know which way to go because your head wants one thing and your heart wants another. Or even your head and your heart are working towards one goal, and then, your head and your heart are also equally, working towards another. What is that called? A broken heart? That's ironically funny. So how do you know what is right and what is wrong.
I think when I start dwelling on something, instead of listening to my head or heart, I try to make a decision about what is right and wrong, or fair, or a compromise. They are never easy and I am never 100% confident in them. In fact, I don't think I will ever be.
I put predictive values on my decisions . . . the farther I can see into a decision makes me more likely go in that direction. Maybe that is my attempt at knowing which way to go . . . is that the right way to go about things? Probably not, because change is inevitable.
Why am I so afraid of making a mistake?