the first entry seemed a little melodramatic, or should i say a debbie-downer entry, so i thought i could maybe lighten the mood:
my blog is about having a voice. talking about issues and life-changing events and light-hearted stories that made my day etc. as much as it is about my voice, it's about the response, any opinion or advice, i will listen. in a way, to hear advice or a response from a total stranger, sometimes, seems more "legit." in other words, an unbiased angle.
here's a quick story, maybe some can identify with, but also the more comedic part of my life:

do you ever feel like you are slowly disappearing? for instance, i sit here, at a table, outside by myself, eating and reading and slowly, but surely, one chair is picked up from the table and moved...then another...and then another and then i find all that's left are two chairs...one for me and one for my bag.

where i begin . . .

...this unwavering, transcendent like faith. so grounded. it's the kind of thing i always strived for but never grasped. it feels like this interminable and yet impossible journey. i think my problem lies mostly in my ignorance as well as this blind understanding. in fact, this inability to understand whatsoever. resulting in doubt . . . a lack of faith in what and who I believe in. i think, in a way, i lost faith in people. the constant disrespect and selfishness I saw and experienced made me lose faith in others. to my naive and hopeful outlook-i was monotonously and utterly disappointed. but for some reason, my instincts will always turn to hope. a bitter yet sweet personality trait. i believed in people and yet I lost faith.all I had left was God but my deep feelings of anger, of betrayal and abandonment were towards Him. even though i still believe in God, my faith in Him has slowly disappeared. i know now that it is all due to my own lack of understanding.most of all, I've lost faith in myself. it's as if i'm the one trying to walk on water and it's me who is sinking....all I can here are those words "ye of little faith"