Hurdles

i am feeling overwhelmed and ironically school has yet to begin . . . here is the break down:

it took me roughly 2 years to get here. i was taking classes and trying to get into schools (plural) and it felt like i was jumping through hoop after hoop after hoop.

praise the lord, and thankfully, i was accepted to UNC; however, since then the hoops have multiplied and the hurdles have raised several inches. i had to get this done, and have this titer taken, and buy these many thousands of books etc. in addition, once i arrived here i came to the realization my communication with the school was not up to par. living in wyoming and communicating only via email i missed several very very important details that needed to be completed before i matriculated into the program. for instance, hopefully my background check processes immediately otherwise i cannot begin school. secondly, i have to take a class i have already taken. much to my disappointment, humiliation, and additional stress i reviewed the syllabus and it entails almost identically the exact same processes and ideas i have already studied. by the way, the professor is new and has already stated this class is mostly online and we will hardly ever meet. frankly, i took this class online and now i am paying four times as much to do it again.

i guess, i am nervous enough about the rigorous program and i had hoped i felt a little more stable and secure entering into it. i need to gain a rhythm and a schedule so that i may feel successful and on my way to completing this journey and not failing miserably.

book club

i want to be a part of a book club . . . after school of course. just a thought and a reminder to one day be in a book club. oh and if there are any recommendations of good books let me know! i'll keep a list . . .

cell phones and planes

why do we turn off our cell phones and all other electronics during take off and landing? regardless of the exact reason, it will interfere yadda yadda yadda, we all obey. first, we are going to fly thousands of feet above the ground and anything to assure a safe flight we will do.
in this current day and age there are however, electronics/iphones/bluetooths with an "airport mode" switch. this enables the phone to remain on during the flight; however, this does NOT mean it can remain on during take off and landing. honestly, it still interferes with radio connection. meaning, without clear radio connection on the ground how is the plane supposed to maneuver through the airport??
real story: i sat by a very nice, friendly woman on my flight from chicago to raleigh. chicago is a huge airport and we coasted through the maze of planes for about ten minutes before we took off. i noticed this woman kept her iphone on during take off. i wasn't sure so i didn't say anything. as we were descending into raleigh she was using her phone and using whatever application for entainment the stewardess came over. he told her to turn off the iphone and she proceeded to simply darken the screen to black. she did not turn it off. she merely kept the screen black to "fool" us all.
i understand these devices are capable to remain on furing the flight, but not during landing and take off; however, for her own ease as well as my own, why would anyone risk a complication with a flight full of a couple hundred people?? i mean really, i think she has rebellious tendency's which she never really let loose during her adolescent years.

a new daily lifestyle

i wonder what it will be like to live in north carolina for 16 months. i'm here now and i feel detached from those in jackson i share my life with . . . it is bitter yet sweet because i am going to be a nurse and yet i feel i will miss out on the lives of those i love. the relationships in my life are what keep me going. they are the ones that inspire me, and make me laugh, and even help me cherish the daily life of living in jackson. so, to all of you who read this: don't forget about me, write letters (i will write back), and call. know i will be back to become a nurse and a ski bum.

go tarheels!

i cannot believe in a matter of 5 minutes my life took an unexpected turn. i received a call at 6:45am asking whether or not i was going to accept or decline my admission into nursing school . . . hmmmmm let me think, are you kidding me? of course not! i'll be there JANUARY 11th!!!
praise the lord: the path to the career of my dreams is heading in the perfect direction. i am going to north carolina to get my nursing degree. i am still in disbelief.
in addition to all my excitement i have an overwhelming sense of how hard and strenuous this is going to be, in addition to the fact i have to go back to being a full time student . . . oh, and did i mention i've never been there? yep, i guess i am a little more than nervous.
i am going to chapel hill in a week and a half for orientation so hopefully i gain some perspective before i officially drive all that way: i hope i don't get lost, i hope that raleigh (the city i fly in to) is not that intimidating of a city, and i hope the freeways aren't like san franciscon or l.a. and i hope i don't fail miserably, i want to flourish . . .
thank you to all who supported me . . . i felt many people were pulling for me, i think that is why i got in :)

jumping on my bed

when was the last time you jumped on your bed? as a kid, i used to jump on my bed all the time . . . beds in hotel rooms were always the best. but the other day i starting jumping on my bed and to my surprise, at 24 years old, it was just as much fun as it was 15 years ago. i am taller so unfortunately i needed to think about hitting my head on the ceiling . . . even if i am 5'2". but the freeing, whimsical, and weightlessness i felt came at the perfect time. at this moment in my life there are all these questions and thoughts racing through my head and paths i could or couldn't take. the feelings of freedom, or joy, or pure fun of jumping on my bed helped me relieve any thoughts i shouldn't worry about. i will leave them to the air and come down on my nice fluffy bed.

a big wedding

i've never been much for big weddings. don't get me wrong i love to go to them and celebrate a marriage and dance and see people i haven't seen in awhile, but personally, i've always wanted something more private; however, this past weekend i celebrated my cousins wedding in eugene and praised the beautiful marriage they are to have. the best part of this big wedding was the fact everybody was there to celebrate the marriage. everyone "approved." everyone loves this couple and couldn't be happier. i can't help it but if, or when, i get married i want that celebration too. i want the people around me, WITHOUT a DOUBT, to approve of the marriage, to celebrate with joy and to acknowledge how great a couple we are.

there has been "friction" amidst my life between people i love and i don't know how to gain peace in this personal war. i think that is why my vacation went so well, there was peace and celebration for my cousin and her husbands success and i didn't have to worry about my own shortcomings.